2 1/2 years plus 1 day

October 24th, 2012 was a very special day for us. It marked the day where Dima has officially been in our home and family longer than he has not been. When Dima joined our family he was 2 1/2 years old. For 2 1/2 years he spent life apart from us. October 24th was the official marker of 2 1/2 years plus one day. So the majority of Dima's young, little life has been spent with us!

He's 5 years old now and we can say that he has known us the longest. He has fallen asleep in his bed more times in our home than not in our home. He has used the words "mommy and daddy" referring to us more times than he hasn't. He has been cuddled and kissed and has been called "our son" longer than he hasn't. This was a big day for us.

For the last 2 1/2 years, since he has been home, much of our time and efforts have been on ensuring his security in our family and in our love.

The first 6 months home, we were the only ones in his life to help him fall asleep, feed him, kiss his booboos, change his diapers, bathe him. The adoption world calls this "cocooning". To the outside world, it may seem silly or strange to watch a 3 year old be fed by his mom with a spoon, or silly to UN-potty train just to RE-potty train.

There were many times in his first year home where I held Dima in my arms, for hours at a time, while he screamed and thrashed and struggled to understand what comfort from a mother's hold looks and feels like. He would have much rather have been left to the corner he chose where he could deal with his frustration on his own.

The voice in my head would tell me "just put him down if it makes him stop crying. It would be much easier that way and he would be happier...and so would I." I hated watching him cry, but I hated even more the thought that he didn't find comfort in my arms. So I would hold him, and often let both of our tears intersect on his cheek. I would sway back and forth, not allowing for his physical outcries to affect me.

I would whisper softly into his ear..."mama's here. Mama will help you calm down." And finally, his whole body would retreat, he would melt into my arms and stop crying. We would breath together, his breath matching mine, and then I would hug him and let him down.

Those days were brutal, but they were tremendously vital for building trust, love and attachment with our son. For children who are born into loving families, these lessons are learned from the moment their head touches their mother's chest after their first breath. These children learn that their diaper will be changed when it is dirty, they will be fed when they are hungry, and they will be comforted when they are sad.

They learn that their mother's arms are a place of comfort, nourishment and rest. They learn that their father's arms are a place of security and provision. These are deep truths that children learn that many parents don't even realize they are teaching.

But, for children who experience neglect in the early months and years of their lives, those lessons are not learned. In fact, in many cases, a different lesson is learned: that there is no one to trust. They learn if they want something, they have to fight for it. They learn that in order to survive, they have only themselves to rely on.

So, Wednesday October 24th was a very special day. It marked the trust built, the love received and the hope restored in a life, in a family. We wanted to celebrate. Many families choose to do a dedication of their child when they are a baby. Sometimes this includes a baptism or a ceremony. We simply didn't have the opportunity to do a baby dedication with Dima.

So, on Friday evening, to celebrate this day in our family's life, we decided to have a dedication service for Dima. We wanted it to be a spiritual marker of committing our son into the hands of God - for His work and His plans for Dima's life.

We gathered in a little chapel inside our church with a few close friends. We asked each person to write a word that they would commit to praying over Dima for the remainder of his life and then to draw a picture of what that word represented. After this, each family presented their word to Dima and gave him the picture. Here were the words:

Assurance 

Potential

Strength

Story

Kingdom-Builder

Purity

Joy

Brave

Then Dima sat on a little chair and we all gathered around him and prayed these words over him. It was a beautiful marking of this special day as we celebrated his present, his past, and his future.

And our thoughts, of course, shifted to our little girl. We yearn for the day when we will celebrate her being a part of our family longer than she hasn't, when trust will be established, and the words "mommy, daddy, and brother" roll off her tongue without a second thought.

UPDATES:

• We will be fingerprinted on Thursday afternoon as a part of being "accepted" by the US government to adopt an orphan
• We were just informed by our agency that 3 weeks ago, our paperwork was sent to Russia and translated, officially registering us as adoptive parents. 
• Our case manager said the wait could be anywhere from 8-18 months. Our hearts sunk. This was much longer than we were expecting...but trusting that God has our daughter perfectly picked out for our family.

FINANCIAL UPDATE:

On NOVEMBER 10th. 12pm-3pm there is a HUGE FUNDRAISER in the Akron, OH. area...

• I am blown away by the amount of items donated for a silent auction: Vacations, sports packages, spa packages, kids books toy baskets, imported Russian collectibles, Chik-fila meals, and so much more. We have around 40 items donated. 
• There will be concessions - hotdogs, nachos, popcorn, drinks -so come hungry!
• There is going to be a fun corn hole tournament that anyone can join, with multiple ways to win prizes!
• There will be a bake sale with tons of homemade yummy treats to bring home or snack on while you are there
• There will be activities for the children: crafts, games, story telling, and a balloon making clown!
• There will be vendors who will be giving a portion of their proceeds toward our adoption: Usborne books, 31 bags, sterling silver jewelry, homemade craft items, homemade bread and bread making classes, homemade purses...truly something for everyone!!

PLEASE RSVP on the Facebook page by clicking HERE. It will be really helpful to know how many to expect for concession purposes.

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• Please pray that our referral would come much sooner than expected. Though I love the idea of not traveling to Russia in the winter, I hate the thought of waiting 8-18 more months!!
• Pray that God would continue to stir in the hearts of people to give
• Pray for our little girl - that she would be held and treated specially.

Until next Monday, love Kate, Steve & Dima.

3 Octobers Ago

It was 3 years ago this week that Steve and I flew in an airplane to Russia to meet our son face to face for the first time. The day is forever seared into my mind and I will never forget that moment of sitting in the orphanage doctor's office and her door opening. In walked this sweet, quiet, timid, beautiful little boy.

For years he had been just a dream, a prayer. I would close my eyes and try to picture what he might look like. In my mind was a little body with his face blurred out. That was the image of my child for  the 2 years leading up to this day. Then finally, in early October, we received this picture...

My eyes' gaze would look beyond the scratches and bruises on his sweet, little face and I would be drawn into his deep, brown eyes. There was a story in those eyes. There was life in those eyes. This was my son and I knew it immediately.

I carried that picture around everywhere I went. I showed it to anyone who would give me the chance. The paper this picture was printed on became soft and wrinkled from the exchanging of hands and the shedding of tears. Dima's picture went everywhere I did. Then just a few weeks later, we were face to face. The life that started as a dream, then a prayer, then a picture was now standing before us.

October 19-24, 2009 is a week that brings back some great memories. We had such a wonderful time with our son. We connected right away, spending those four days playing and laughing. Then came the goodbye.

For him, he just took the hand of his caregiver and walked out the door, not once looking back. We were left in a quiet orphanage room, taking in the reality of having to say goodbye. We had to have faith that he would be taken care of and fed and kept warm through the winter. We had to have faith that the logistics would continue to work out. We had to have faith that God would make it possible for us to come back for him. That was one of the most difficult days of my life.

And so here we are, three Octobers later. Our home is filled with the beauty and craziness of our son. There are fingerprints on the window as I write, there are Legos strewn about the floor and his book bag hangs on the door knob. Dima's marks are all over this house.

What is missing is any trace of a daughter.

Right now there are only prayers and dreams. What will she will look like? How will she will fit into our family? How will she will get along with her big brother?

Just like the first time around, I close my eyes and try to picture her and I only see a blurred out face. I believe God gives me this picture to protect any sort of expectation. Even when I try hard to imagine what she might look like or be like, I come up with nothing.

And so I pray. I pray that she is safe. I pray that if she is already in the orphanage, that she would be getting special attention and protected from any sort of evil. And I pray that God would be preparing her heart for us.

People often talk about how much Dima looks like us, especially Steve. Sometimes when people say this they follow it up with a statement along the lines of, "doesn't that show you that he was meant to be your child?"

I do think it is crazy how much Dima looks like us. That was never something we requested or even expected. But I don't believe...I can't believe...that this is a sign that he was meant to be our son. What if our daughter doesn't look like us? What if she has red hair? What if she is has dark skin? What does that say about her? Are we left to conclude she is any less meant for our family?

When we first saw Dima's picture three years ago, we knew he was our son... not because of his looks, but because of our peace. God put an indescribable peace and joy in our hearts when we laid eyes on him. It was as if the Spirit within us leapt at the sight of his face. That is how we knew he was meant to be ours. And that is how we believe we are going to know when we see our daughter for the first time. Lord, let our hearts leap!

Happy three year "Meet-ya" day, our sweet little Dima! You were our little boy long before we ever met. Now we wait and pray and wonder what God has in store for our little girl.

UPDATES:

• We have a HUGE fundraiser coming up on November 10th from 12pm-3pm. There will truly be something for everyone. 
• We have secured multiple vendors who will be selling great, unique products. We are still collecting awesome donations for baskets that will be auctioned off. As of right now, we even have a week long vacation at a Lakeside lakehouse that will be up for auction! 
• There will be a fun, fast paced corn hole tournament and the winner will win a custom made corn hole set.
• For the kids, there will be children's activities going on for the whole time with responsible students and adults hanging out with them so you can shop or play! 
• Come for lunch and grab a bake sale item on your way out. 
• Here is a flyer - feel free to pass it along to everyone you know or print it out and hand them out to your friends, coworkers,  or neighbors. It's going to be a great time!! Please RSVP on the FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE as we start planning for food. 

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• We have our appointment scheduled with the Homeland Security Office in Cleveland for November 1st. I injured by thumb and had to get multiple stitches last week. Please pray my thumb would heal and it would not interfere with the fingerprinting!
• Pray for our little girl - that God would protect her with His loving arms.
• Pray for us as we wait and prepare for our daughter.

Until next Monday, love, Steve, Kate & Dima.

Money and His Goodness

The thought of adding a new child into our family is overwhelming, as I'm sure it is for any family deciding to expand. How can I love a child as much as I love the one we have now? How will I handle a change in our routine? How will our family dynamics change? How will our sleeping (or lack thereof) change? How will we overcome the huge financial hurdle?

It's overwhelming. I think what it all boils down to is this question: "how much do I trust God to work through people?" 

It's crazy to think that right now, our paperwork is sitting on someone's desk in Russia, who is looking over our information and deciding which child will be ours. That is scary. So I pray, "Lord, work through people. Give them Your wisdom." As I pray, I picture God lifting the hands of a Russian official and perfectly joining a child's face with our family's paperwork. How much do I trust God to work through people?

As for the financial component of this adoption, I have to believe that the same God who can perfectly pair us with our daughter can perfectly provide for our monetary needs. And as I think about story after story of people who have given money towards our adoption, I am truly blown away by how many have done so as a response to a direct prompting  from God.

A few days ago I received a facebook message from a friend who shared with me that she and her husband are thinking about adoption for themselves. She hosted a small yard sale, thinking it would be a good idea to start a new savings account for this idea of adoption. 

She went on a run and said it was as if God was speaking to her saying, "give the money to the Garcia's adoption." She said there had been very few times in her life where she felt such a clear, direct and specific request from God. She spoke back to him, "But God, it's not as if I'm using this money for shoes or starbucks or new clothes!! I'm using it for saving an orphan! Isn't that what you want?" Again, it was as if God said to her, "give it to the Garcia's. I have other plans for you." She and her husband prayed over it and decided to give us the money. And with the money, they gave us their story of obedience, a story that reminds us that He is working specifically and uniquely in people to help bring our daughter home.

This past weekend, Steve was at a conference hosted by our church. As he was walking through the hallways, a girl approached him. She was one of our former high school students who is now in college. We don't see her often, but when we do, she is always a joy to be around. 

She ran up to Steve and with a huge smile of disbelief she said, "I can't believe I ran into you!! I have money for you!" She went on to say that she had been feeling like God wanted her to give towards our adoption but she didn't know how or when. She kind of just brushed it off, but before she came to the conference, she felt a strong stirring in her heart to stop by the bank and take out some cash. She prayed that God would lead her to see Steve in person that night as a confirmation. Sure enough, he was walking out just as she was walking in. With tears in her eyes, she graciously handed Steve a wad of cash. And once again, we got to step into someone else's story of obedience.

These are just 2 recent stories, but there are many more. Although this process can be overwhelming, God continues to show me that He is faithful and that He will use people to meet our needs. 

Though it is never easy to ask for or accept money, God is doing more than just giving us money for our adoption. He is giving us stories. Not only are we blessed and deeply encouraged, but I believe those who are responding to the stirrings of God in their hearts are also getting a glimpse into the intense blessing of obedience. 

I love that my friend got to experience such a close movement of God. I love that this college student got to watch God answer a specific prayer right  before her eyes. I am so grateful for all of those who have joined with us in this journey. I am grateful for the money, but I am just as grateful that God is up to something bigger and He is using others to tell stories of His goodness. 

UPDATES:

• still waiting :)
• We are excited about a HUGE fundraiser coming up on November 10th called "Passport to Always." Click HERE for details and make sure you RSVP on the facebook event page.
• If you have any desire to donate ANYTHING for this fundraiser, please email Rachel Fairfax: rachel.fairfax@the-chapel.org
• They are wanting to collect baskets to raffle, gift cards, any type of home made goods or services to purchase. Anything you can think of! 

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• for our little girl, that she would be uniquely loved and cared for, and that she would be in a warm place as we approach the cold season.
• for wisdom for the Russian officials and our agency as they place our daughter with us.
• for our continued fundraising - that God would continue to stir in the hearts of people to give

Until next Monday, love, Kate, Steve & Dima.

Our Own

About a year ago, Steve and I began to feel a stirring to increase our family. Before deciding to begin another adoption process, we made a visit to the reproductive endocrinologist. Though adoption was heavy on our hearts, I wanted to assess where my body was before we made the final decision. I have never been given a diagnosis of "there is a 100% chance you will never get pregnant", so there was always a lingering possibility of "maybe this month".

When I entered the office I was reminded that my last time here was the catalyst for Dima's adoption. That was the day I was told that I was pregnant, only to find out a few hours later that the pregnancy was not in fact a pregnancy.

My heart beat quickly as I walked up the stairs and into the familiar waiting room of the doctors office. Many a tear had been shed in that room; many hopeful moments of wondering if this will work; many bonding moments of seeing the same women in the office morning after morning for blood tests; many times of sharing in the joy with other "success stories". And so there I sat, 3 years later in that same waiting room. Though the wallpaper was the same, the receptionist was the same, the books laid out to read were the same, much had changed in my heart and life.

Finally I was called back into the doctors office. The doctor remembered me and we small talked a little about how life has been the past three years. I shared with him about our amazing son. I always have to smile when I talk about Dima. He has brought more joy into my life than I ever could have imagined.

But my smile was met with a curious look of frustration on the doctor's face. In an arrogant tone, he said to me, "so you gave up trying to have a child of your own?"

I sat in silence. I'm sure my face went white with trying to hold back either tears or a very angered response. I quietly said, "He is my own. Dima is my own." In that moment I could think of nothing else to say other than repeating the truth that was so real in my heart.

Thankfully our time was coming to a close anyway. I paid at the front desk and the receptionist asked if I wanted to schedule my follow up appointment. "No thank you. I am finished here."

As I drove home, tears streamed down my face. I furiously prayed for our son that he would never, never feel like he is in our family because we "gave up". And in that moment, it was confirmed in my heart that adoption is absolutely the next step for our family. I fully believe God has a daughter for us and though she may not come into our home in a biological way, she will be no less our own.

Over the past few months, I have continued to think about this comment from the doctor and my heart was led to verse after verse in the Bible about how God has called us "His own", how we are adopted in His family.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are".  ~1 John 3:1

To be called the "Children of God" is more than just having a title, it is an identity. Our son is not just CALLED our son...He IS our son. He is our own.

May he always believe that in his core. And as we wait for our daughter, my prayer is that even now at this very young age, God would be supernaturally placing this truth into her heart. May neither of our children ever feel that they were second best, but that before they even came into this world, God had a plan for their lives...a plan that may not be traditional, but a plan that is very close to the heart of God.

UPDATES:

• waiting :) 
• A few friends are planning a big fundraiser that we are calling "Passport to Always" on November 10th from noon-3. There will be something for everyone - a huge cornhole tournament,  many unique vendors selling a huge variety of gifts, services and items, fun for the kids and food. Put it on your calendar and more information will be available soon!

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• Pray for our little girl: that she would be held and loved and treated uniquely
• Pray for continued finances as we prepare for travel costs and a large international fee that will be due on our first trip
• Pray for wisdom as our family's documents move across the desks of Russian officials. Pray that they will find favor in us and place us with the daughter God has for us. 

Until next Monday, love Kate, Steve & Dima.

Into the Waiting

This past week, we accomplished a pretty big milestone. We completed our dossier, which is the initial file of documents sent to Russia requesting the adoption of our little girl. Along with this, we also completed 100 documents that have been sent to 4 specific regions in Russia, to request a child. All that to say, we are "officially" on the waiting list.

So, what does this mean? It means that all of the running around and making appointments grinds to a halt. Now we settle in for one of the toughest parts of the journey...the waiting. This is the day after day, week after week, month after month nothingness.

Even though the paperwork phase of this adoption is tedious, it does help us feel like we are doing something to speed the process along. For the next few months, there will be no paperwork to keep us busy and our answer to "how is the adoption going" is going to be the same..."good, just waiting."
We have no idea when we will get a referral, or from what region, or how old she will be. Now we just sit and wait and trust, and wait and trust, and wait and trust.

In many ways, this is a very lonely and helpless leg of the journey. We are in the waiting room. We dream and wonder and think about what this little girl may look like or what her personality is going to be, but we don't know. And no amount of dreaming or wondering or worrying will bring a referral any faster. Which is difficult for a "do-er" like me.

Life goes on as normal for all of us. It is in these months where we desperately need community and encouragement. God has already given us so much of this already and it has been such an incredible blessing to our hearts as we are reminded of those who are walking this road with us.

Every night we pray and thank God for all He has given us and how He has continued to provide for this adoption. We are continually blown away by His provision. Almost daily we receive a check in the mailbox. We go to our paypal account and find that money has been placed there by strangers.

God shows Himself through people who offer financial provision. He also shows Himself through people who offer encouragement. This past Sunday, I was walking through our church when a sweet friend handed me a wrapped gift. In it was this beautiful print...a reminder of Dima and a hope for our daughter...

My eyes welled up with tears as we hugged. I was once again reminded of how important it is to walk this journey with community. Not just for finances, though we are so grateful for that. But, just as important - the emotional encouragement that comes with a gift like this - that reminds us that there are people praying for us and walking with us, encouraging us all along the way. 

And above all, God shows Himself in the ways that He is affecting people's hearts and lives through this story. Just this morning, I received a message from a friend who is a mom of one of our students who helps out in Dima's 5 year old class at church. She said that her daughter was so encouraged on Sunday because Dima prayed in class thanking God "for giving mommy and daddy money to go get my little sister." (this was just before he got in trouble for giving a boy a bear hug that turned into a wrestle take-down :)).

What a beautiful reminder that this time around, God is using our  son to encourage the hearts of his teachers and stir curiosity in the hearts of his classmates.

We believe God has much to teach us through this next season of waiting. We don't want it to just be a time we get through, but our prayer is that our eyes will be open to lessons God is teaching us even in what seems like silence.

God, the Great Orchestrator, is working behind the scenes. He is connecting the story of a little girl in Russia with our story. He is working in our lives by using many people to remind us that He knows what we need. He is working in our hearts by using others to encourage and bless our lives. Thank you for being a part of this story with us. Thank you for responding to the promptings to pray and encourage and suppport us along the way. As you do this, please know you are a tangible fingerprint of God's work in our lives!

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• For God to continue to meet our financial needs. (And just an FYI - we are furiously trying to stay up to date on thank you cards. So please be patient with us. It is definitely an awesome problem to have, but just know we ARE working on them!)
• For our hearts during the waiting. 
• That our little girl's caretakers making her feel loved - treating her EXTRA special. I even pray that somehow someone is sneaking her EXTRA food and EXTRA hugs

Until next Monday, love Kate, Steve, & Dima.