I came with copies of his medical records from Ohio. As the nurse began reviewing the paperwork, his adoption story quickly bubbled to the surface.
I explained, "We brought him home from Russia when he was almost three. Before that, we know very little about his medical history."
I always try to keep my answers short and neutral since I know there are very curious little ears holding on to every word I speak.
"How old was I when I came home?" he asks.
"Almost 3."
"But now I'm six years old. And I go to kindergarten. But just in the afternoon."
In that moment, the doctor stepped into the conversation, "You were a tiny little boy when you came home and now you are a big boy."
("Now I'm a big boy", he whispers quietly under his breath).
As my son sat there on the medical table, his little feet dangling off the side, you could just sense his wheels were spinning as he attempts to piece together his story.
"Adoption" and "coming home" and "Russia" are very normal words used in of our family's day to day conversations. Dima knows he was adopted, he knows that he grew in someone else's womb and he knows he lived "with the ladies" in an orphanage. He knows all of these things, but as we begin the journey of bringing home our second child, these concepts are intensifying in his young mind.
"When is my step brother coming home?", he asks.
"Your step brother? You aren't going to have a step brother."
"Yes I am. A step brother is when you have different parents, but you live together as one family."
This is our son, always thinking, always wanting to figure things out. He has always been that way. When he first came home, we would go on merry go rounds and instead of waving to the onlookers outside of the fence, he would fix his eyes upward, entranced by the pulleys that made the horsy move up and down.
"We are your parents and we are also going to be this little boy's parents. So, you actually do have the same parents...."
I still see that he is trying to understand it all as his mind is working overtime to make sense of these unnatural family dynamics.
"A judge in Russia actually changed your name to match our name. You are and forever will be a 'Garcia'. And after this little baby is born, a judge is going to change his name to match our name. And he will and forever will be a Garcia. But, even more amazing than that...God already KNEW that you were going to be a Garcia and He KNEW that this little boy would be a Garcia, so He bonded all of our hearts together with Love Glue. And absolutely NOTHING can change that."
"You were once someone else's child...now you are MY child. And once you become MY child, there is nothing that can separate you from my love."
As I explain his story of adoption, it awakens in me a deeper understanding of my place as God's child.
I was once a child of darkness, born into a world and life of sin and separation from God. Through Jesus, I am now a child of God. The Ultimate Judge signed on the dotted line and changed my name.
I moved from being a stranger to being known.
From darkness to light.
From death to life.
From orphan to daughter...
...not God's "step-child"
...not his "half-child"
...a child of God.
When I talk about and think about God, I don't even refer to myself as His "adopted daughter".
I am a child of God. He is my Father. I am His daughter. He has brought me into His family; and as it promises so beautifully in His Word...
"I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height or depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord (and Father)." -Romans 8:38-39
UPDATES:
- We are still working on paper work to complete our new home study
- The baby is doing well and kicking and growing
PRAYER REQUESTS:
- Please pray for wisdom and diligence to complete all of the necessary steps for our paperwork to be complete
- Please pray for this little baby boy: that God would protect and care for his little body and mind as he grows
- Please pray for sweet birth mom: that she would feel confident in this adoption plan and that she would know how much we will (and already do) love this little boy
Until next Monday,
Love: Kate, Steve & Dima
You want to adopt, but not enough to spend your own cash to purchase a kid? Wow. You're unwilling to spend your hard earned money on a child but are happy to do so using other people's cash?
ReplyDeleteYou know girls give up babies for adoption because they can't afford to raise them -- and neither can you!
I'm praying this pregnant girl does not surrender her baby to parents as unfit as you!
Ps when does Dima get shipped back to Russia? The child exchange by Reuters has great options!
My heart is filled with sadness for the anger in Sandee's comment. It pains me to imagine from where so much anger and hatred might be coming.
ReplyDeleteThe up-front, lump sum legal and facilitation expenses to process an adoption are incredibly costly, and the vast majority of people cannot afford these fees--even if they have a more than sufficient ability to provide for, love and care for their children. I'm sure Sandee is well aware that the purchase or sale of human beings is neither ethical nor legal. The fees in adoption are for the expertise and legal facilitation, as well as medical and travel expenses, to handle the processing of a legal proceeding. That others may have gifts that they are willing to support their friends with in this process is an amazing expression of support.
Families make adoption plans for a variety of reasons, and it is not always due to the fact that the birth mother cannot afford the added expense of raising a child. To group all birth families into a single stereotype is very unfair.
Steve and Kate, I hope you are strengthened by the love and support of your community--near and far. I am reminded of this quote, and I hope it brings you peace:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." ~Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr