Over these past few weeks, there have been many songs making their way into the depths of my heart. These have been songs of Truth - of surrender, of desperation, of God's unfailing love and His faithfulness. Sometimes when my mind and heart have been too weary to even open up the Bible, He has brought His truth into my heart through the recollection of song. And He would meet me there, whether I wanted to be there or not.
"Your plans are STILL to prosper
You have not forgotten us
You're with us in the fire and the flood
Faithful forever, perfect in Love
You are Sovereign over us
Even what the enemy means for evil,
You turn it for our good
You turn it for our good and for Your glory
Even in the valley You are faithful
You're working for our good
You're working for our good and for Your glory"
These words have found me in the lonely places of this journey. In those quiet moments where it is just me and my thoughts - where I try desperately to understand what He allows and why He allows it.
As I have been emailing with my sister in law, who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, I found myself saying to her, "When I try to figure out what God is doing, I can drive myself crazy. Because the truth is, these things (like cancer, infertility, sickness, adoption bans, corrupt governments) are not FROM Him. He is not doing them. Yes, He is allowing them. But they do not come from His hands. He is life, not death. He is for orphans, not against them. He is for truth, not corruption. He is for health, not sickness. So, instead we have to keep our eyes focused on what kind of beauty He can make from the ashes. It may not happen right away and it usually is not in the way we expect, but He is an expert in redemption. And His heart is to redeem this broken world."
As I wrote this, and tried to allow my heart to meet her in the pain of her circumstances, I was reminded of this same truth for myself. That even what the enemy means for evil, HE is the master at turning it not just for His glory, but for our good. And that is the hope and promise we can rest in, find strength in, and claim with confidence.
So, as we have asked for wisdom from God to show us not just where our daughter is, but where is He calling us to go, we feel like we are getting a clearer picture. His plans are still to prosper. He has not forgotten us. He has not forgotten our daughter. He has not forgotten the children who lie in orphanages all over this world with no hope for a future without adoption. And so we are ready to respond and move forward. We are ready to act in obedience to His calling. We look forward to telling you where that is very soon. We still have a few more details to set in place and phone calls to make, but I assure you, this is a story you will not want to miss. And we're still kind of in shock over His direction for our lives. Faithful forever, perfect in love...You are Sovereign over us.
Until next Monday, love, Steve, Kate and Dima