Aruna

The summer of 2007 was the first time I ever stepped foot in the beautiful country of India. As we walked off the airplane, we were welcomed by the many sights, sounds, and smells. Wall to wall people was the backdrop of our walk through the airport. The sounds of cars, buses, and rickshaws honking, each with their own customized ring tone quickly became the new score played behind every conversation.

Steve and I were there along with a team of high school students from our church. And as we made our way to the compound where we stayed for the 2 weeks, we became overwhelmed with the beautiful dichotomy that is India. On the same real estate can sit a beautiful, colorful mansion and a small shack village of pieced together dwellings. We would be enthralled by the beauty of a scene only to be slapped in the face with the reality of poverty sharing the same moment. There was so much to take in.

One of the opportunities we had while we were in India was to develop and lead a youth conference. Our team put together dramas and songs and games to share with our new friends, and through the help of translators, we were able to encourage them in their lives and learn from them as well. 

Many of these young people were extremely poor and traveled for 2 days on long, hot bus rides just to get to the conference. I instantly connected with one of the girls, a precious 12 year old named Aruna. 

She spoke no english. I spoke no Hindi. We spent the day drawing pictures back and forth, taking photos on my camera, walking around together, eating together, drinking chai together. It truly is amazing how love can transcend a language barrier. 

We spent 4 days together and on the last day of the conference, she handed me her cell phone. 

I placed it up to my ear. "Hello?" 

I never thought I'd be receiving a phone call from someone in India :) It was her pastor from her village. He spoke some broken english and wanted to tell me how much Aruna learned from the conference. It was a great and encouraging conversation. Aruna and I said our tearful goodbyes and we parted ways back to our homes. 

Fast forward one year to the summer of 2008. I had the opportunity to return to India with a different group of high school students. to lead another youth conference in the same place. I thought about Aruna a lot over the year, but never dreamed that I would ever see her again.

We weren't there long when one of the local leaders of the conference found me and said, "Kate, there is someone here who is anxious to see you." And out walks Aruna, along with her sister and her mother. "Hi Kate", she said. "How are you?"

Aruna had spent the year learning english in anticipation of seeing each other again. 

It was a beautiful reunion. She introduced me to her family and we again, enjoyed the days together. This time, on the last day of the conference, Aruna and her family invited me back to their room. They presented me with a beautiful Indian garment called a salwar. It was one of the most difficult gifts I have ever had to receive because I knew the cost that went into the gift. 

Who knows how many months wages went into the purchase of this gorgeous outfit? 

I tried it on and then they rubbed oil on my arms and braided my hair with flowers. I sat there with tears streaming down my face as these 3 beautiful women blessed me. I was so humbled in that moment. I came to India to be a blessing. As it turned out, I was the one being blessed. 

In many ways, I feel like this is the story of our adoption. We enter the journey with a motivation to bless, by "rescuing" a child from a dire situation. But the reality is, we are far more blessed by the gift of parenthood. 

I feel strange sometimes when people say things like, "wow, this little girl in India is so lucky to have you take her out of these circumstances." Or, "Dima is so lucky to have been rescued out of the orphanage. He is so blessed." But, the truth is we are the ones who are blessed. I would not be a mom without Dima or our little girl. Their very lives are God's precious gift to us. 

I so look forward to the day we bring our little blessing home from India. Though it seems like such a distant hope and dream, it is the memories of people like Aruna that remind me of the joy that is to come.  I hope to tell my daughter the stories of her country and all of the beautiful people we've met there. And what a special day it will be when I can sit in our living room and braid my daughter's hair with flowers and tell her about another special Indian girl named Aruna.

Prayer Requests:

• patience - it's frustrating to think how long this process will take
• for our little girl - that God would be preparing her for us and us for her

Until next Monday, 

love: Kate, Steve & Dima

Starting Over

Last weekend, our social worker came to our house for our home study. This is required for adoption. Though we already went through all of this when we began our Russian adoption, switching to India has required us to do this again. We always enjoy our time with our social worker. She is very kind and helpful. But, honestly, I didn't want to have to see her again for a while.

And I was reminded of the reality that we truly are starting over.

Based on where we were with our Russia adoption, we believe we were days away from receiving our referral (the child's picture, age & region). We worked hard and quickly to get our paper work completed and had waited for 6 months. Our hearts were building with anticipation and then this past weekend, the adrenaline of the last couple of months subsided and I sat on the couch after she left in an overwhelmed state of frustration.

I looked in front of me at the new stack of paper work that needed to be completed. Documents that needed to be mailed out. Phone calls that need to be made. Papers that have to wait on other papers before they can get mailed out. Months of paper work that lay ahead of us before we can get to the "waiting phase"...again.

Now, I do know that there are much worse situations that I can be in. I also know that in many ways, this is the path we have chosen. But I have to be honest with my feelings. Sometimes it just doesn't feel fair.

I look at families who strategically plan out the ages of their children, most of whom are 2 years apart. And somehow, miraculously, it works. I look at my 5 year old son and think about the fact that he will probably be 7 before his sister even comes home. This just isn't the way I envisioned our family plan.

I wanted the 2 years apart playmates. I wanted the pregnancy. I wanted "my" plan to work. And though I absolutely am passionate about adoption, about my son, about my daughter, about the story God has written for us and how He has redeemed our barrenness...sometimes, the pain of infertility rears it's ugly head in my heart and I mourn again the loss of the broken dream.

I get frustrated over how easy some people have it when it comes to having babies. There is this strange and beautiful marriage of sorrow and joy within my soul. The deep sorrow of dreams lost, mix with the  love and generosity that came through adoption.

On most days, joy wins. I look in the face of my son and never once doubt that he was meant for our family. He brings life and laughter and joy to my soul on a daily basis. But some days, sorrow wins. Like today.

I cling to the hope of God's word that sorrow may last for a night, hope is rising with the sun. With this,  God brings me back to His heart with a comforting peace. And it's okay to feel sadness. This does not mean that I don't love the story God has written for our family, it simply means these emotions can happen together. Joy and sadness all in one heart, all at one time.

UPDATES:

• We have completed our home study interview. Now we wait for it to sent to the US government for approval
• Once this happens, we begin on documents that are specific to India. 

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• that we don't lose heart heading into yet another season of waiting
• for our little girl, somewhere in India, that God would be preparing her heart for our family

Until next Monday,

love: Kate, Steve & Dima

Broken in the Marketplace

I will never forget the day I walked into a crowded market in India. The taxi dropped us off on the side of the road and as we began to walk down the street, a mob of young street children bombarded us. "Sir, mum...please, may I have some money. Please." 

We were strongly urged to not give money to any children in the streets because the money never actually went to them. With tears in my eyes, I looked at this one little girl who couldn't have been more than five. I said, "I'm sorry, I have no money". 

As I walked away, I suddenly felt this little girl literally jump onto my back. "Please mum, please." I gently pulled her off my back and as I looked into her eyes, all I saw was vacancy. Her dark hair was matted to her dirtied skin. Her clothes tattered and torn with a faded out image of a sunshine on the front of her too small tshirt.  Her soul had been ravished by the injustices of this world. She was no longer her own, she belonged to another. And as she walked away, I watched her turn the corner and face an angry looking man who was obviously expecting a return. 

My heart broke. I could do nothing for that girl. 

Amidst the busyness of the marketplace, my mind stood still. There was no category in my brain to explain this away. I had just stared in the eyes of the reality of injustice. And my life changed. 

Even if I had all the money in the world to give her, it would leave her hands and she would be sent back to the streets. In that moment I pleaded with God to give me the strength and ability to do something. For years, that meant prayer and encouraging those who were able to act. Praying for the courageous Indians who were literally dying on behalf of freedom and justice for their people.  And now, I feel God is stirring our hearts to move us into more action. 

When we were starting our second adoption we considered India as an option, but since the country was not open to international adoption at the time we felt compelled towards Russia again. Once we made that decision we really didn't think twice about any other countries, until a month ago when the Russian adoption ban became a reality for our family. 

We have been praying, seeking counsel, talking with international adoption specialists and social workers and have been trying to make the best possible choice for our family. 

We first had to take a step back and ask ourselves, why do we desire international adoption? The first reason is because we desire another child. The second reason is because we want to give a child a family who otherwise would have no hope without the reality of adoption.

As we thought and prayed through that statement, there became no greater option in our lives than to adopt our daughter from India. 

So we take this step forward towards an Indian adoption. We are nervous. This is new and uncharted waters. This has unique implications on even what our family is going to look like. But we believe that God's love covers all - including skin color and culture. And the bond that He will give to us as we call ourselves "family" will be unbreakable with His love at the core. 

As an affirming sign of God's provision, the agency we had been using for our Russian adoption also works in India. This is actually pretty unbelievable considering there are not many agencies who work in India. Financially speaking, we will not lose any of our agency money or donations and almost everything will transfer. 

Unfortunately, we will have to start from the beginning with our paper work. This means a new home study, as well as new government approval. Hopefully we will be able to move through it quickly since we just went through it, but it is starting over. 

Once our paperwork gets completed, it will be sent to India and then begins the waiting process (similar to Russia). It seems like our wait time will be around a year. India requires two trips: the first to meet our daughter, the second to bring her home. 

Seven years ago, God began planting a seed into our hearts. It was a seed that grew from visiting India, to sponsoring a child in India, to praying for the people of India. God is continuing to water that seed by giving us the unbelievable opportunity to bring a daughter into our lives from this amazing country. 

We are thankful that you are taking this journey with us. The bumps and the turns can be nauseating at times, but we keep our eyes on Him and continue to trust in His goodness and faithfulness.

Until next Monday,

love: Kate, Steve & Dima