Snapshots of Passport to Always

A few months ago, my dear friend Rachel came up with the idea of putting together a big fundraiser to raise money for our adoption. She and her husband are youth leaders at our church. Her dream for this event was for it to be big and for it to provide an opportunity for high schoolers to be involved.

A small group of us met every couple of weeks in her home to dream, plan, and pray for what this day would look like. We spent hours of time and energy asking for donations, coordinating details, and enlisting the help of student and adult volunteers. It was a massive undertaking. We decided to set the date for November 10th and called it "Passport to Always." We wanted the name to be a beautiful picture of the journey our little girl will go on to join our family, along with the journey we'll go on to bring her home...for always.

The week finally came.

Every day I would hear of new donations that were being given for the silent auction: everything from spa packages to date nights to free car washes for a year to beautiful, imported Russian toys. Every day I would hear of new baked items that were being made for the bake sale: Cake pops and pumpkin rolls, biscotti and all kinds of cookies...lovingly baked by friends and people I have never met! Hours and days had been spent on beautiful handmade items like wreaths, coffee mugs, baby blankets and lamps.

My parents were able to come up from North Carolina for the week leading up to the fundraiser. My mom and I spent the days shopping for the event and working on last minute details.

The night before the event, we went to the church to load up all of the donations that were being stored there. Upon arrival we saw our good friends, Eric, Adrianne and Ashley working hard late into the night to make this big event special.

We arrived very early at the venue on Saturday morning and there were already people there setting up, sweeping, mopping, moving tables, and decorating the room. To look around and see my mom behind the concession counter, my dad unloading people's cars and my closest friends carefully placing each donation item on the tables was overwhelmingly beautiful.

As the start time inched closer, last minute donations found their way into the room. A parent of one of our high school student dropped off 15 beautifully decorated cakes from a local bakery. And high school students started spilling in to give of their time as child care workers, parking attendants, grillers, and concession workers.

Finally the doors opened, the event began and people started to come.

The silent auction table surrounded by vendors

Team Garcia shirt designed by a high school student

As I looked around the room, I took mental snapshots of moments that I will store in my heart forever. I saw two middle school girls, joyfully handing out hotdogs and nachos...both girls were adopted from Russia years ago. As I saw their hard work and their joy as they served, I was inspired and so proud of who these beautiful young women have become...and I wonder, will my daughter look like one of those girls (I sure hope so :)). Their faces brought a beautiful reality to the day for me.

Another snapshot was looking at my dear friend, Rachel who planned and dreamed up this event months ago, waddling (and I say that with as much love as possible) around, 9 1/2 months pregnant. We wondered if she would actually have her baby AT the fundraiser. What love and sacrifice! I can only imagine how exhausted she was, but she served all the way until the end with joy and love.

One of the vendors who was selling homemade baby items, handed me a rolled up stack of money at the end of the day with tears in her eyes. She spent a majority of her day, serving us and helping us bring our daughter home. We hugged and I thanked her with tears in my eyes as I thought of the many sacrifices of the countless people who came together for this day. For this cause.

I came home to a message she had written me,

"it was such a privilege to help in your fundraiser this afternoon. it brings tears to my eyes to think of a sweet little girl who will soon be so lucky to have you and Steve as parents. It makes me even more emotional watching you, as a mother fight so hard for your daughter and knowing you cannot wait for the day when you hold her safe in your arms." 

But the reality is, anyone would fight for their own child. What is most amazing to me, was to see the hundreds of people who came together to work so hard for someone ELSE'S child. That is something I will hold in my heart.

Finally, a precious snapshot I have was seeing my mom. Just a couple of weeks ago, after this fundraiser was already planned, she was diagnosed with cancer. And though it would have been totally understandable for her to not even make the trip up to North Carolina this week, she came anyway. And she worked so hard and gave so much. She was being her normal self - laughing and talking and making people feel good - all the while, knowing that she was going to come back to her home just days later to face a tough surgery and an unknown future.  

And to see my dad, following Dima around all day, buying him an endless amount of cake pops and working hard moving tables and cleaning up - being his normal self - all the while, knowing he was feeling the uncertainty and stress of what was to come for his wife. Grandparents, hard at work, giving of themselves to bring their grandchild home, even in the midst of their own pain. That memory will be forever melded into my heart.

My mom working the concession stand

My dad sharing a hot dog with Dima

It was a day I will never forget..for many reasons. 

I can't put into words my gratitude and as I'm writing even now, I'm realizing I haven't even mentioned how much money was raised. Because for me, the blessing of this day was about watching and being a part of a beautiful community coming together for a bigger cause. The beauty of family and close friends loving us and sacrificing for us and working so hard to help bring our little girl home. That is what stands out in my mind...but if you're wondering...we are $5000 closer to bringing our little girl home. Wow. Is God amazing or what?

UPDATES:

• I am hoping to go up to Cleveland this week to redo my fingerprints. Steve will practice pushing my thumb down on a table Tuesday night and if it doesn't break open, I will head to Homeland Security Wednesday morning.
• We found out this week that there are some issues with our home study that need to be resolved before we can move forward. This is not an issue with Russia, but the U.S. government who is approving our home study. We hope to resolve this tomorrow.
• I was hoping that one of our high school students, Sydney, would have been able to help at the fundraiser...but she was busy doing something else. On the same day, her public high school was having a craft fair of their own and she and a group from her school's Key Club were selling homemade jewelry to give the proceeds to..our adoption. Wow, I'm just so overwhelmed to see people of all ages using the gifts and talents God has given them to help bring our daughter home. Thank you Sydney and Ellet High School Key Club!

PRAYER:

• Please continue to pray for the details of paperwork and fingerprints. They are a tedious part of this process and so much of it is out of our control. Please pray we would find favor with the officer who is in charge of approving our home study.
• Please pray for our little girl who we believe is in fact born already. Pray she is getting special, one on one attention from whoever she is with right now.
• Pray for us as we wait and trust in God's timing through this process.

Until next Monday - love, Kate, Steve & Dima.

Our Birth Story

As I was scrolling through my facebook newsfeed this past week, checking out halloween pictures and political rants, I came across a question that stopped me in my tracks.
  

"Is adoption the answer for infertility, or is infertility the answer for orphans?"

I read this question over and over again. It struck me and convicted me and inspired me. I've had similar thoughts over the past few years as my passion for orphan care has grown. I've often wondered, would I care this much about orphans if infertility was NOT a part of my story?

About eight years ago, I was sitting around a living room playing a board game with friends. It was one of those games where a hypothetical question was asked and you had to guess who answered the question in what way. One question posed was, "what is the worst thing you could ever tell your husband?" One of the girls answered, "That I can't have children". 

In that moment, it felt as if my heart stopped. The past few weeks prior to this game had been spent in fertility clinics and the reality of my infertility was slowly beginning to set in. The girl who made this statement had no idea what was going on in my life and the truth was, her answer was also my answer...except for the fact that in my life this wasn't a game.

Up until now, I have never experienced more pain than going through the grief process of infertility. It shook me to my core. It has forced me to question true womanhood, God's goodness, obedience, blessing, and why God doesn't always answer prayers the way we want Him to. The loss of my dream of what I imagined life would be was a long and painful death.  

I really don't like the phrase, "everything happens for a reason." It slaps a quick fix, cop-out answer to the hard things of life. Instead, what I have come to believe about the way God works is that He takes ashes and turns them into beauty...if we let Him. So, please don't hear me wrongly. I absolutely do not believe that God GAVE me infertility. He is the giver of life, He is the giver of good things. Every good and perfect gift comes from his hand. Infertility does not fit in that category. 

But, I do absolutely believe that God takes the pain, brokenness, and barenness of this world and brings healing, restoration, and life. Had it not been for infertility, I can honestly (and shamefully) say, I don't know if I would care for orphans like I do today. 

I would read verses like James 1:27, "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God means caring for orphans and widows in their distress..." and say, "wow, that seems hard. If I knew an orphan, I would surely help them." But to seek out orphans to bring into my home, I just don't think I would. I wish that sentence were different. 

But as God tended to my heart during those excrutiating months and years of fertility treatments and the heart wrenching pain of seeing multiple negative pregnancy tests, He began to birth in my heart a passion. A passion for the fatherless, a heart for children who, without adoption, would grow up living in cold institutions void of the security, love and strength of a family.

God has transformed my pain into a passion. He did not heal me of infertility or take away any of the pain. Instead, He gave me something fruitful to do with it. The birth of a CHILD was replaced with the birth of a CALLING.

Parenthood became no longer about me "getting to be a mom", but about a passion God had firmly rooted in my heart to give a name, a future, and a hope to an orphan. In my life, infertility was the answer for orphans. 

And these "orphans" are now my children. They bring me life. They give me hope and inspire me in their strength of heart. Something I thought I was doing for someone, in turn, has given me more joy than I could have ever have imagined. Isn't that how God works? He always out-gives. When we think we are doing something for Him, He always gives us back more than we could imagine. 

UPDATES:

• Unfortunately, our fingerprinting appointment had to get postponed (after traveling to Cleveland), when my injured thumb did not cooperate. We have to return when it is fully healed. Though I know it is just a minor set back, it is still frustrating!
• our HUGE FUNDRAISER is happening THIS SATURDAY from 12pm-3pm at First Glance in Akron. Please tell your friends and PLEASE RSVP on the facebook event page. It will really help as we plan for food! Click HERE to RSVP.

PRAYER REQUESTS:

• Please pray for our fundraiser on Saturday - that God would blow us away with His provision and that it would be fun and a great time to raise awareness for adoption.
• Please pray for our little girl. That she would be love and cared for, held during these cold months and treated uniquely.

Until next Monday, love Kate, Steve, & Dima.